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Lifetime Loser

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Written by Our Reviewer
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
Lifetime Loser: Satire and Suspense on the Links Reviewed By Stuart Nachbar James Ross’ Lifetime Loser is the story of a multi-million dollar estate real swindle by a humorous cast of con artists, and one unsuspecting golf pro who tries to make things right. If you enjoy Carl Hiassen or Harlan Coben stories, and you’re deeply into golf, you will enjoy Lifetime Loser. The con artists are similarly developed: they have their slick moments, and their clumsy ones as well. They are just vulnerable and stupid enough, and full enough of themselves to get caught—and they do. It just takes 15 years to solve the crime, an extremely long time period for a story of this type. Lifetime Loser Ross’ main character, J.W. Schroeder, better known as J Dub, is a former golfer who comes just one stroke away from qualifying for the PGA Tour. After his near-miss, he decides to give it up and becomes a golf pro at his local driving range. There, he meets con artist Lewford E. (Lew) Zerrmann, and joins him as a minority partner in the decrepit Prairie Winds Golf Club. Lew has no interest in golf; he just wants to bleed the club dry while scaring away the customers he doesn’t like, just because he wants to. He rides his motorcycle on the course, and he imitates Adolf Hitler as art, again because he wants to. Lew is also as horny and unkind to women who resist him as any con in stories like these. J Dub is a likeable and gullible fool; everyone around the man knows that Lew is cheating him, but he does nothing about it. He gets plenty of good advice from regular patrons to Prairie Winds, Julie his bookkeeper and office manager, his wife Marcia and, his brother Curt, but it takes years for that advice to finally sink into his head—and when it does, it’s almost too late and even an aggressive U.S. Attorney and the Internal Revenue Service are unable to help. He’s allowed the statute of limitations to compromise any case he has. The best parts of Lifetime Loser are: J Dub’s attempt to ace Q-School and get his card; the development of the regulars at Prairie Winds; J Dub’s loyalty to Bogey, a dog who becomes his best pal at work; and, the development of the different cons in the story, especially Lew, Monty and Raymond. The cons are better developed than J Dub and his family who seem wholesome. I don’t know if that was deliberate, to contrast good and evil, but it was present. Worst is the protracted legal battles between J Dub and Lew. I am not a lawyer, but I can’t believe that a multi-million dollar swindle would be this complicated to resolve, and if it was, there was more legal maneuvering described in the story than necessary. If it was possible, in legal terms, to give J Dub a win, allow Lew an appeal, then give J Dub a final slam-dunk in court. J Dub finally wins at the end, but I didn’t see as much of the victory celebration and outcome as I would like. I would have preferred a shorter time-arc with J Dub getting another shot at his PGA card. But that’s only my personal opinion. I always root for the underdog in these stories and I want the underdog to live his dream.. Contact Stuart Nachbar at http://www.EducatedQuest.com , a blog on education politics, policy and technology or read about his first book, The Sex Ed Chronicle, a novel on education and politics in 1980 New Jersey, at http://www.SexEdChronicles.com .
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 21 May 2008 )